When Life Gives You Nuts – You Can’t Always Make Nutella / The Pain Of Peanut Butter In The Jam

ImageNuts. Enjoy them while you can, everyone. Because when I take over the world…

I was going to leave that sentence hanging but actually I won’t – when I take over the world… that’s it. It’s over. They’re gone. Banned. Big Brother has nothing on me. Never mind your basic human rights and freedoms. No more nuts.

I’m sitting here with a fat lip, courtesy of my partner in crime. Normally I would be charmed by an affectionate peck on the lips (thank goodness that’s all it was) – but not today.

I completely understand why it’s difficult to remember to take a nut allergy seriously – and I’m the nut allergic one.

I’d always shuffle around the subject when someone was cooking for me; feel self-conscious bringing it up in a restaurant; fail to complain to housemates when finding peanut butter in the jam.

A few near-death experiences have just about cured me of all that. And it’s not the only aspect of life in which I’ve learned not only to take myself more seriously, but have found the self-permission to ask other people to take me seriously. Some things – they might be as small as a nut or as big as a dream – some things are a matter life and death.

I’m no longer backward in coming forward about being allergic to nuts and I’m no longer backward in coming forward about being a writer. I have even written a *book* (watch this space to view future worldwide success / fame / fortune / the-location-of-a-copy-in-a-library-near-you-that-I-sent-to-them-free – coming soon).

Sometimes, when life gives you lemons, you can’t make lemonade. Sometimes they’re so damn sour there’s no amount of sugar in the world that can make them right. Throw out the lemons. As Kristen Lamb tells us, so well as usual, in this post – it’s ok to quit! In fact, sometimes, you have to.

If the book bombs – that’s ok. I’ll already have written the next one. I will have learnt from the last, so the next will be better. And the one after that. If there’s peanut butter in the jam – no amount of scooping it out will make the jam good again. You’re just mixing it up in there. You’re wasting time risking your life trying to fix something when you should give it up. Move on to the next, new pot of jam. (And tell your housemates to keep their £$*&@ peanut butter out your jam). 

Don’t let nuts get you down! Carry a metaphorical EpiPen in your mind so there’s always adrenaline on hand to save you from anaphylaxis (I have been the boy in the picture. My throat has closed up and I’ve nearly suffocated to death. Following my dreams is now a necessity – must become rich and famous before the nuts have a chance to end me altogether – they’re sneaky and they’re out to get me, they must know I plot their ultimate doom). 

Is anyone out there bogged down by the nuts of life? Tell me – take a lexical anti-histamine. And listen to your medical professionals (all those successful, wonderful writers out there blogging, kind enough to be sharing their wisdom). They want you to succeed. They want you to survive. And so do I  😀


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11 responses to “When Life Gives You Nuts – You Can’t Always Make Nutella / The Pain Of Peanut Butter In The Jam

  1. I loved you analogy. I’m not sure when to “quit” a particular project or direction. I’m hoping as I move along this path, the answer to this question will become clearer. Thanks for the great inspiration!

  2. Kit Dunsmore

    I get the PB in the J thing! I have done exactly that: wasted my time trying to save something that can’t be saved.

    I don’t have allergies, but I have tons of food sensitivities. The downside: I have a very hard time making my needs known or telling people when there are things in their food I usually avoid. The upside: if I accidentally eat any of it, I get sick in some way, but it is not lethal. So I really appreciate your challenge in dealing with your nut allergies, and your desire to change the world. If I ruled the world, I would ban all the sugar, grains, and caffeine. And then there would an uprising so fast it would set a world record. 🙂

    • Haha does it make me a massive hypocrite that I’d be leading the uprising?! Sugar & caffeine make my world go round :p But I did miss that point out above – sympathies to everyone who has more than one pesky food problem. I’m lucky in a way to know exactly what my kryptonite is and what its effects are – and for it to be just the one food group… If I couldn’t have a beer or a chocolate bar, I’d be such a grumpy bear…

      • Kit Dunsmore

        We’ve all got our things we can’t tolerate, and the things we can’t live without. Nuts are crucial because my diet is seriously limited. I still think getting enough nut lovers together to form an uprising would be much harder than getting a caffeine crew together… 🙂 Just wanted you to know your not alone, and the we’re all grumpy bears when it comes to bumping up against our limitations.

      • Thanks Kit 🙂 in that case, in the new world order, you can have a private secret supply… just don’t tell anyone :p

  3. Oh man. A nut allergy is way scary. I met and traveled with a guy in Cambodia who had a very serious nut allergy. It made traveling a whole different level of challenge.
    And girl, I haven’t worked on my writing (non-blogging that is) in so long that I can’t even weigh in. It’s shameful. I’ve got to get back there.

    • Ay I feel super sorry for certain people who were subjected to me and my anaphylaxis in Oz – I scared the hell out of them! And Asia is *such* a scary place for it… the number of times I double checked with a street vendor and they said ‘no nuts no nuts!’ and then I followed up with ‘what oil do you use?’ and they’d grin and say ‘peanut oil!’ Life’s little challenges :p
      Get back on that horse! Go’aaaaahhhn!

  4. Kit Dunsmore

    Ah — a benevolent dictator. My favorite kind. 😉

  5. love your analogy……mine is you can’t always make peanut butter with peanuts(tried and tested) 😛

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